THIS IS A FANFICTION!
by UNseated4TH
Summary: Kyoya Has been dared to write a fanfic about Host Club. Haruhi has been dared to write one about Eragon. These are their stories. Stem from 'Truth or Dare' serial. Beware: These stories may hurt your brain. Seriously. Hahaha...haaaa -.-
1. My Love for Host Club by Kyoya Ootori

**Kyoya:** Uhh…hi. This is not charliechick, it's Kyoya…you might be familiar with an Ouran High Truth or Dare an annoying, rabid lunatic runs on this site. In the most recent chapter, I was dared by Selestyna Arpa364 to write a FANFIC about how much I love host club, and Kris has forced me to- I mean been so kind as to let me post it onto here with her account…so here it is…she "helped" me with it, she may have also tampered with it, so if it comes across as OOC, it's her fault.

**MY **_extravagant, undying, desperately impulsive, ridiculously corny, over obsessed, fangirlish _**LOVE FOR HOST CLUB **_=P_

**BY KYOYA OOTORI **

_(And 'processed' by Kris)_

Oh, eeem geee~! I loveee Host Club~! Love, love, love it! IT IS THE BESTEST!!!1!!1!1!!!!1

I luffs Tamaki

I luffs Haruhi

I luffs Hunny

I luffs Mori

I luffs Hikaru

I luffs Kaoru

I luffs Renge

I luffs Kasonoda

I luffs Nekozawa

I luffs Belzenoff

I luffs Tamaki

I luffs Mei

I luffs Kirimi

I luffs Ranka

I luffs Éclair

I luffs Satoshi

I luffs Yasuchika

I luffs Tamaki

I luffs Benio

I luffs Chizuru

I luffs Usa-Chan

I luffs Kuma-Chan

I luffs Tohru

I luffs Tamaki

I luffs Mr. Shido

I luffs Yuzuha

I luffs Yuzuha's hubby

I luffs Tamaki mummy

I luffs Tetsuya

I luffs Kanako

I luffs Shiro

I luffs Ayame

I luffs Tamaki

I luffs Reiko

I luffs Hinako

I luffs Shindou

I luffs Gran

I luffs Kotoko

I luffs Akito

I luffs Twin's maids

I luffs Yuzuru

I luffs Yorhisa

I luffs Akira

I luffs Yoshio

I luffs Tamaki

I luffs Fuyumi

I luffs Mizuru

I luffs Soga

I luffs Piyo

I luffs Kurakano

I luffs Kanoya

I luffs Kousaka

I luffs Hatori Bisco

And I luffs Tamaki!!1111!!!!1111!11!!!1

Every day when I gets up, I has the breakfast and can't waits to get to school and host, cause I luffs tha Host Club! ^.^ Tehehe…I also luffs tha peasant's coffee and ramens…yum, yum, yummmmm!

* * *

**Kyoya:** …What the heck is _this?!_

**Kris:** Its your fanfic

**Kyoya:** This is nothing like my fanfic was!

**Kris:** Your fanfic was boring =P

**Kyoya:** But you changed it!

**Kris:** Nah, its just more to the point

**Kyoya:** …

**Kris:** And who exactly are you calling "annoying rabid lunatic"?

**Kyoya:** …

**Kris:** Fine ya wuss, I'll put the original version below

* * *

**MY LOVE FOR HOST CLUB (UNABRIGED)**

**BY KYOYA OOTORI**

The Host Club holds high importance in my life as a student here at Ouran. Not only does in enhance my sophisticated composure, but also builds up my personal status as an Ootori It gives me something to always be occupied with, be it working out profits, updating the website, or organising an event.

However, there are a few frustrating factors which contribute to this occupation, such as people who refer to me with irritating nicknames and tamper with my written documents

But this is supposed to be about why I love host club, not why I find it annoying. So here we go…

As I've already stated, it gives me something to always be occupied with, and over the past two years has grown largely popular amongst the female (and even some male) students.

I can remember back when the club was first formed by Tamaki and I back when Tamaki first moved over from France. I remember at first I found him exceedingly obnoxious and annoying. What am I saying? He's still annoying to this very day…

The twins were a bit of a challenge to coax into joining, but somehow Tamaki did it. The same for Hunny and subsequently Mori.

Haruhi was easy to recruit, as all that needed to be done was breaking a vase on her part.

Looking back on it all, I think we have grown into a successful club. I can honestly say that there are only a few things I truly love, but Host Club would be one of them.

Yours truly,

Kyoya Ootori

* * *

**Kris:** Awwww…am I one of those few things you truly love?

**Kyoya:** No. You're one of the many things I truly hate.

**Kris:** What about Tamaki? Is he one of the things you love?

**Kyoya:** I'm not going to talk about that

**Kris:** …?

**Kyoya:** …

_Long Awkward Silence_

**Kris:** Well…uhh…Haruhi is going to give us a fanfic of Inheritance cycle next, so stay tuned!

**Kyoya:** Review, Please

**Kris:** …

**Kyoya:** …

_Awkward Silence Continues_


	2. Eragon Story by Haruhi

**Haruhi:** Yo. So what happened was I was dared by Principessa Dell'Opera to write a fanfic about Inherritance Cycle. And Kris has gotten me to post it here. Her brother helped me with it a bit too. I really enjoyed writing it actually, I hope you enjoy it too. So here we go…

* * *

Once upon a time in the land of Alagasia, Eragon was going to the markets, because there was a special sale on his favourite pork—or should we say WEED. He wanted to hurry and get there before it had all been sold to the annoying short people, and he had to be fast because Arya didn't know he was gone, and he didn't want to have to face an angry Arya…

It was very early when Eragon made his move. The sun hadn't even come up yet. He quickly snuck out of his tent and through the campsite. He snuck past Murtagh, who was dancing nakedly around a campfire, and down the road, out into a village where the markets were setting up.

The first thing he did was get the pork and weed he wanted, as it was popular and would sell out fast. Then he had a look at the lollies. Then he saw Sloan who was dressed up. As Sailor Moon. Eragon backed away slowly before telling Sloan that the outfit really picked up the colour in his eyes.

Then Gallbatorix came walking down the street—or should we say _tumbling_ down the street, before coming to a rest in an awkward position at Eragon's feet.

"What's this?" questioned Eragon, prodding at the gnome with his foot.

Then, both Galby and Eragon's dragons came over the hill in a similar fashion, along with Murtagh who was still garmentless and Murtagh's dragon.

"Drat!" said Eragon, "My cover has been blown…"

He turned around, but right behind him was…Arya!

"Eeep!" said Eragon, looking at the scary elf.

"You ate my cookies!" shouted Arya, "You eated all of them!"

Eragon then went and hid under Roran—or should we say Roran's skirt.

It was then that Eragon realised that the gnome Gallbatorix was still stuck to his foot and was beginning to climb.

_there's always gonna be another mountain_

_im always gonna wanna make it move_

_always gonna be an uphill battle_

_and sometimes im gonna have to lose_

_it aint about how fast i get there_

_aint about whats waitin on the other side_

_its the climb_

"Arrrrgggh!!!" shouted Eragon "get it off! Turn it off! Get it off! Turn it off!"

He began running in circles as he tried desperately to fling the gnome off.

_It's the climb_

Whilst Eragon was struggling, Murtagh seemed highly amused by the situation and was sitting down with Roran, Roran's skirt and a coffee from the Starbucks stall.

Eragon began kicking Gallbatorix—or rather eating him with his feet (which had mouths for some reason…)

"Are you implying I'm a mountain?! Are you implying I'm FAT?! I'll show you FAT!!!"

He then got out a photo of Arya. Arya responded by hitting Eragon in the back—or should we say stabbing him in the back.

"Uugh…"said Eragon, "I am weaned…"

He then had a hissy-fit, and Saphira had to calm him down by throwing Glaedr (who had innocently come by to buy some bread) at him. Glaedr flew like a paper aeroplane on drugs.

This did not calm down Eragon, but it did calm down Roran. And his skirt…

Arya was annoyed and PMSing and bought more cookies—or rather got Eragon to buy her more cookies!

Eragon mumbled and got the cookies. He then went to the men's room.

While he was busy pissing on the wall, a dark shade came across him. Literally.

"Umm…" said Eragon, "you know it's an unwritten rule that you don't look at other peoples…"

"Oh sorry dear boy," said Durza, quickly looking away, "you see I don't really use one of those anymore. In fact, I don't even have one!"

"Huh…what do you use then?" asked Eragon.

"We Shades do this," replied Durza. He pulled on the corner of his eye, releasing a streak of the yellow substance onto the pisser wall. Eragon looked on in awe.

"Now," said the Shade, "I made a stupid mistake in my youth…I chose to become a Shade and in doing so lost my manhood. Don't make the same mistake I did. Keep it safe, son" he pat Eragon on the back before proceeding to exit the building. He was almost at the exit when he turned and said :

"Oh and by the way, there's something on your leg…"

Eragon looked down. "Oh not again…"

A scream was heard from the men's room.

_there's always gonna be another mountain_

_im always gonna wanna make it move_

_always gonna be an uphill battle_

_and sometimes im gonna have to lose_

_it aint about how fast i get there_

_aint about whats waitin on the other side_

_its the climb_

Eragon had always hated garden gnomes. Those snide little things could be anyone. But now his hate was at a new height. As it was, he was stuffing his left foot into one of the toilet bowls in hope to sever the connection between himself and the gnome. His luck only worsened when his foot became stuck. Arya had to come into the men's bathroom to help him get it out.

By the time his foot was free, the gnome was nowhere to be seen. It had probably gone back home. Or become flushed down the toilet.

"I defeated Gallbatorix~!" declared Eragon, dancing around the toilet.

Everybody was happy.

They had a party.

With cheese.

It was then that Eragon discovered a mighty flaw in his victory—it was naught but a dream.

Eragon sighed, rolled out of his bed and put his day clothes on.

"Time to go to the market then…" he said to himself.

* * *

**Kris:** Wow Haruhi, that was quite good

**Haruhi:** Thanks

**Kris:** Just one question…

**Haruhi:** What?

**Kris:** Why was Gallbatorix a gnome?

**Haruhi:**…well it _was_ in a dream…

**Kris:** Hmmm…I wonder if he actually is a gnome…

**Haruhi:** And why is that?

**Kris:** Well we've never actually seen him in the books…for all we know he could be a gnome…and he may be defeated by being flushed down the toilet...

**Haruhi:** True, but if he is, his intimidating factor would go down by about 1000. By the way, they pissing scene was your brother's idea.

**Kris**: Haha ^.^

**Tamaki:** That was so beautiful, Haruhi~!

**Haruhi:** o.O

**Kris:** Hey, where did you come from?!

**Tamaki:** I have my ways~!

**Kris:**…o.O…_(leaves)_

**Haruhi:** So yeah, please review my story. I guess fanfiction thing is complete until someone else has to tell a story. See you later~!

**Tamaki:** Hey Haruhi, come and put on this dress ^.^

**Haruhi:** … no _(runs away)_

**Tamaki:**_ (goes to his emo corner)_


End file.
